I'm back...I know that originally I said that I was going to post every 2 to 3 days, but I think in reality that's going to be more like twice a week. My tentative plan is to post once on the weekend and once mid-week (Wed or Thurs.) I hope that satiates your embarrassing appetite for nonsense. Really.
I, like many of my fellow humans, enjoy running. I'm not very good at it however. Due to ancestral traits passed down from my gunslinging, bull-riding, 
whiskey-swilling, Indian plundering forefathers, I have some bowed-ass legs. This is not the prototypical runner's body. While my upper-body is an exquisite picture of efficiency (think Drago on the treadmill in Rocky IV), my lower half looks a lot like an egg-beater, 
whirling and frothing the terrain into a scrumptious asphalt meringue (think Emeril on the Food Channel). That said, I do my fair share of running and I have some unnecessary observations on how we entertain ourselves while pounding the mf-ing pavement.
The iPod is great, but it doesn't completely fulfill my entertainment needs while running. The playlist only serves as a soft soundtrack to my short cinematic feature about physical exertion. Fortunately, the amazing ability of the mind to overcome boredom pushes me into a realm of entertainment creation. This run-entertainment can be classified into two categories; 1) personal and 2) interactive.
Personal entertainment is really that known only to you. One of my favorite personal entertainment moments is the errant fart. You know the drill...running along and digestion kicks in and belts forth a by-product of the metabolic process, taking with it a small bit of body fat (I'm not a scientist, but this is how I envision it.) I always chuckle a little bit and look around to see if anyone heard...all the while maintaining my Drago-on-an-egg beater form. It's funny the embarrassment that ensues because nobody ever hears those little guys...hell, I hardly hear them, but I know they're there because I feel them, and that is part of the fun...at least 1 to 2 minutes of it, anyway. Don't judge me.
The other form of personal entertainment is really dorky and only really applies to the 
treadmill (and probably only to my nerdy ass). I calculate percentages while I run. I know, sign me up for Math Camp with all the other Mathletes. But hey, the treadmill can be a pretty dull experience (unless you're drunk). It goes like this, say I'm running 30 minutes...after 3 minutes, I say in my best internal robot voice, "You have run 10%" and this entertains me. That's an easy one, though. It gets tricker when you're at, say 11 minutes. By the time you figure it out, you're already at 12 minutes. Incredible.
Now, I turn to interactive entertainment. This usually involves other runners, but can also involve other fit-seekers (walkers, rollerbladers, bikers, etc...) I happen to live in a big city where there are usually a fair amount of active people about...interactions are more common than say, the mean streets of Dubuque, Iowa. While most runners probably don't make eye contact with every passer-by, there are a select few on any given run that catch your attention for some reason or another. One type of encounter involves what I call the 
"validation glance". The vg occurs when you pass another runner, usually a runner that is not of your gender of sexual preference, and you both kind of give a nod that says, "yeah, man/girl...we're fit...not lazy like those other assholes...right on." It's particularly entertaining when that run happens to be the first time I've run in awhile. Despite my accumulating beer layer, with one glance I become Prefontaine or one of those Kenyan guys...f-in A right.
Another encounter whose entertainment potential can last the entire run is what I call the "fleet feet flirt". While it's fairly self-explanatory, I will explain further. Running along...some Journey got you thinking about what might have been...you look up and for a split second, catch eyes with a sweaty, attractive (insert preference here). You both hold on for a second, maybe even flash a quick smile or the "validation glance" (which, incidentally, kills the romance) and run on by...never to see them again. You just scored big time because you now have some mysterious stranger to think about the rest of the way home and not your swollen toe. Not bad brain. Well-played. I'm assuming that non-single people indulge in this, as well. I mean, it's all pretty innocent until someone takes their joggers off, right?
I could go on and on...crack jumping, stutter-step bingo, Eskimo hunting...really, it is endless. All I can say is this, thank you brain...you've made this whole running thing a reasonable experience.
May the wind be always at your back,
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